help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have feelings that need drinking.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
