Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Nicole vs. Life
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
