Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
