Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
