Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We left the knife in your bed.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
