Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
