What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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