Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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