He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
