i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
