ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
