I want to stick my p in your. b.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
