i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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