god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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