i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
