I wish I could punch you in the face.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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