Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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