remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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