Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
