Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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