She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
