So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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