I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize