Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
