We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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