i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
