Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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