wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
third nipple confirmed
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
