Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
