Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
