so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
