He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
