whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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