party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house