you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
