just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
