I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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