I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
