there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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