Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up under a house in Key West
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
