Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
