who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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