we have officially lost it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
