I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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