fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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