clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
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