The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
