Im at strip club and am horny
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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