he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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