I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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