this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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