whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
