i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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