I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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