am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
