i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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