I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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