my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No more Irish car bombs ever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
