Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
