Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
