I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
