I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
