i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
