so that wasnt chicken after all
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
