I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
